I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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