i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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