you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
