Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
