she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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