You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
