My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
