i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
