I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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