Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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