Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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