There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think I sprained my soul last night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
