Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
