she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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