First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How naked do you want me to be?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
