I wanna bring you to show and tell
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well you can't waste a boner
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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