Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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