I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
