that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
