well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
