just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
