you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
