Whod you bang
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
