check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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