So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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