if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
