She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize