its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
