I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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