You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
