okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
