a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
