I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
