Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
