Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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