Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
