so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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