how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
