Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
