I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
