I wanna bring you to show and tell
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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