It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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