I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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