I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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