turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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