we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
