Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
