So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
