Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
