i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
