I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
