Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
