Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
