everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
