just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
