Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
