I'm jealous of your bromance
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
