Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
