am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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