tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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