very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
