There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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