White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
