16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
