I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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